My Kind Of Woman

                                                   And

                                               My Kind Of Man

                                                                                                               As Written By:

                                                                                                                   Mr. Ben

Preface

As a woman, if you were asked the question; `who is your kind of man’, it is almost certain a number of responses you'd give. Also, there would be several responses given to the same question if other ladies were asked. To the male folks, you might hear them say; ` a beautiful young woman', `a lady with an attractive physique', `a woman that is all-complete', `that lady who can cook very well and carry out household chores', ` a woman of integrity, respect, intellect, obedience and sincerity'. On the other hand, a number of ladies would prefer the qualities; wealth, care, appearance and responsibility present in their spouses.

In themselves, the requirements are not bad and positively task both parties to `work' on themselves for a `get-along' purpose. Nonetheless, do these qualities make relationships worthwhile?

Alas, it is unequivocally the fact that men and women whose criteria for their kind of women and men respectively are based on the previously stated requirements do not really get to appreciate the union with their spouses as demise or break-ups, separation or divorce, if married, infidelity and lack of trust become the order of the day. Without a doubt, this is due to the transient nature of these qualities-they are subject to change.

Interestingly, people have smartly conceptualized the catchy phrases; `my ideal man' and `my ideal woman' to assert the kind of men and women whose virtues are up to their taste. Come to think of it, are they ideal men and women? Absolutely no! This category of men and women fail to take cognizance of compatibility being a function of ability to completely adjust values and dispositions of themselves and their spouses in order to attain agreement in all areas of life, continually. Simply, the `idealness' they crave for is somewhat unattainable. Nevertheless, it can be followed continually just as the sea mariners chart their courses by the stars in the skies.

Paradventure you want to know the kind of man or woman an upright woman or man should crave for, then it's about time the cat out of the bag! How? Though it's a matter of choice, My Kind Of Man and My Kind Of Woman is an ever-chaste born again sister and brother. Find out more in this classic.

Mr. Ben

Dedication

To men and women looking for their missing ribs

Acknowledgement

First of all, all thanks be given to God because He remains the author and finisher of

all my classics (this inclusive)

To all my family members, friends and well-wishers who have given their `go-ahead' encouragement, I would say a big `thank you'. You are my dearest!

Introduction

The classic is a rare-to-find two-titled work piece that extensively sheds light on criteria many men and women use to ascertain their spouses' fitness for relationships and marriages and vividly identifies their flaws. A second-to-none gem, it goes a long way in affirming the should-be kind of man and/or woman, though based on choice.

My Kind Of Man and My Kind of Woman are a must-read and must-have materials that clearly recognize reasons many marriages fail and relationships decline. Yet, it asserts to interested and women their right kind of spouses.

In this book, readers will get to appreciate the essence of having the right partners for a life-long union or worth-remembering relationship leading marriage. It is a worth considering masterpiece. Irrespective of race, status or culture, it is a sure-bet for successful relationships.

The come-to-stay interest elucidates seven major criteria (each) that constitute reasons many relationships and marriages fail to work out. They are arranged in the following formats:

My Kind Of Man

1.     Chapter 1: Wealth/Money

2.     Chapter 2: Responsibility/Maturity

3.     Chapter 3: Background

4.     Chapter 4: Appearance and Intellect

5.     Chapter 6: Sexuality

6.     Chapter 7: Defense

Also, for My Kind Of Woman,

1.     Chapter 1: Appearance

2.     Chapter 2: Sexuality

3.     Chapter3: Wealth/Money/Financial independence

4.     Chapter 4: Intellect

5.     Chapter 5: Background

6.     Chapter 6: Behavioral disposition

7.     Chapter 7:Level of handling home affairs (matters)

Readers will certainly come to the realization that though they are worth being termed `criteria', turn-outs of these qualities in many relationships and marriages have not yielded anticipates success stories. Nonetheless, it gives a clear-cut suggestion of who their right spouses should be (with irrefutable reasons)

The concluding part of this timeless relationship and marriage guide has a striking statement, integrating the should-be kind of man and woman.

Every chapter in each title explains the interesting benefits of considering the qualities as criteria for relationships and marriages, explores their weaknesses and asserts the `right things'. What are those `right things'?

Particularly helpful to aspiring (young) Christian brothers and sisters, this classic will undoubtedly help them rightly position them to locate their kind of spouses. Also, those who are seeking for good relationships and marriages will find this work piece interesting and practicable. Moreover, would-be married couples will get to appreciate the essence of this profound work.

It is about time we got started!

                                    My

                                                 Kind

                                                                     Of

                                                                                 Man

Chapter 1

Wealth/Money

When a relationship or marriage is existent without physical wealth, such a union may suffer setbacks. A number of ladies are of the view that marriages seldom hit the rocks due to the absence of wealth. To this end, they believe their man whom they intend getting married to or involving themselves in relationships with must possess wealth. Would you blame them?

Relationships and marriages hit the rocks owing to the absence of money. To some ladies, `money strengthens many relationships and marriages and adds spice to them'. Without money, most relationships and recognized marriages almost amount to nothing!

A woman needs good clothes, accessories and other fashion outfits to look good. To attain these feats, she needs money. Nonetheless, what is most desired is absent. She claims to have a confidant; someone who she's in a deep relationship with. Yet, he hardly can eke a living. To you, what do you think would likely be the aftermath of such union?

The Holy bible, the wisest book in the world tells us that money answers all things. If you doubt this, then read this story:

Vince, a fresh graduate from one of the world's prestigious citadel of higher learning, recently got married to his childhood heartthrob, Lucia. In fact, their wedding ceremony was a talk-of-the-town event as the society's `who is who' came form all nooks and crannies of the country and Diaspora to grace the memorable event. Indeed, as an attendee, it was a red-lettered day to me.

Three years on, their marriage started experiencing `down-turns' as Vince was not leaving up to his responsibility as head of the family. Although his ever-understanding wife, Lucia, a high salary earner, never made complaints of Vince's financial incompetence, it was crystal clear the home was heading the direction of dis-equilibrium; Lucia was responsible for rents, bills and other miscellaneous expenses which ought to be borne on Vince.

It got a point Lucia could not stomach burden encountered in incurring expenses for the day-to-day affairs of the home and simultaneously cateringfor herself, Vince and her two-month- old bay, Cameron. From a bad-to-worse situation, Vince lost the mantle of being the family head and was subject to Lucia's strange and sudden instructions, since she had become bread winner.

As time progressed, Lucia couldn't afford to unnecessary couldn't afford to foot the home's utility bills and other expenses. She found solace in the abode of a well-to-do business merchant, Bobby. In no time, Bobby stole her heart and this made Lucia, without any remorse, filled for a divorce which she eventually got.

As I write this, Vince, now gainfully employed is in custody of his two-year old Cameron. If Vince was opulent enough to shoulder his responsibilities as the man of the house, do you think Lucia would divorce him?

More often than not, a lot of women assert that the men they would give their hands in marriage to or be in serious relationship with must have the finance to meet up with their demands. In a way, this mindset, perhaps results from the aftermaths of relationships or marriages they've been in or lessons learnt from the lives of their parents when growing years. On the other hand, their male counterparts, knowing this mindset, in order not to loose their `precious pearl' to rivals, go the length of manipulating certain dispositions, all in the name of acquiring wealth or making money using cut-corner methods. They carry out the acts of manipulation, not minding the immediate after-consequences of their actions.

However, a relationship or marriage not based on (true) love but money will unequivocally experience more hard times contrary to the en vogue view of people especially women; over-prioritizing money or wealth as basis of relationship or marriage. To an extent, a number of ladies who venture into relationships or marriages with their souses on grounds of monetary availability end up getting not contended because the engine known as true love is out of the picture and hence, they are robed off happiness and fulfillment. This is one of the reasons you see a lot of women who are married to or in relationship with opulent men more depressed, confused and unfulfilled than they were prior to their current union. They are denied of affection, care, intimacy, attention access to information and other important marital values. Rather, they are subjugated to stringent rules by their spouses who know the union they find themselves is on the basis of money and see their female partners as `bargain beneficiaries'.

An ever-chaste born again Christian sister operates on a different dimensional scale. Over the years, she had prepared herself by acknowledging the bible-based principle of true love as the lasting foundation of a successful marriage and genuine or serious relationship. She unequivocally works with the consciousness that though money answers all things, wisdom is the most principal thing and in acquiring it, she gets understanding which is tantamount to wealth acquisition. Moreover, she ardently follows the biblical assertion: `the love of money is the root of all evil' by prioritizing wisdom; embracing true love instead of money.

Here, the term of `wealth' is synonymous with `money'.

Chapter Two

Responsibility/Maturity

In a survey of ten women, say, when asked if they can settle down in marriage or engage in healthy relationship with their male age mates, younger than they are or older men, at least, five of them would likely prefer engaging in relationships with or giving their hands in marriage to older men. The reason is simple: they are more mature and hence, are able to handle certain responsibilities properly. Is there an iota of truth in this assertion?

To some ladies, maturity goes with age. Hence, the reason many ladies go for older men. They believe the older male folks are more experienced in handling the affairs of women and leave up to certain responsibilities than their age mates. For instance, a well advanced-in-years older person is believed toknow at all times, his woman craves for attention which he has to oblige her whereas if the woman happened to be in a relationship with or married to her male age mate, such attention craved for will not be granted as he would be busy either gratifying himself or carrying out other pressing activities.

As a matter of fact, some ladies naively are steadfast to the viewpoint of not respecting their spouses who are their age mates. Instead, they are convinced that respect should be given to older folks. In simple terms, their marriage to or relationship with older men will give them grace to submit in respect to their older spouses.

However, does age really has anything to do with maturity? Because older men are believed to understand the longings or needs of many young ladies doesn't necessarily make them responsible. Does it? To be candid, has experience really made men who are advanced in years more responsible?

Edward, a Japanese returnee, got married at age 32 to his 22-year-old sweetheart, Sandra. A ten-year difference ought to be an obvious mark of maturity and Edward's keenness to embrace responsibility in the day-to-day sustenance of his marriage. However, the reverse was the case.

Until quite recently, Edward, before he met Sandra, was a hardened chain smoker, junkie and chronic womanizer. During his courting years with Sandra, he withdrew these habits from Sandra's notice only to showcase them after having two issues with her.

His negligence of responsibility as the man of the house and husband and immaturity in handling sensitive issues of his family have somewhat created a total disorder in his household ranging from dysfunctional psyche of his now-grown children to the incessant insult on his wife. Sometimes, Sandra regrets marrying him; sees him as irresponsible and not matured enough for marriage.

On the other hand, an ever-chaste again sister practically works with the biblical dictate that states `wives submit yourselves to your husbands'. In other words, she is aware that respect is not dependent on age, neither is it deserved but earned. Not age, she operates with the mindset that affirms maturity; a thing of the mind, not necessary a product of experience. She knows she must submit (in love) by respecting the headship of her spouse, knowing will she will be respected in return.

Chapter Three

Background

Some women are of this view that relationships and marriages (in terms of compatibility) are best shared when their spouses and they have one thing in common-similar background.

In many countries of the world, women marry or get to be in relationships with men who share similar backgrounds; family, educational or tribal/racial inclination. We will consider these background forms as they affect women's selection for their kind of men.

1.     Family background: An organized family where all principles regarding etiquettes and other interests are heed to the letter will undoubtedly have a huge say on its members dealings with people. Precisely, in a family where there are females, the family heads would have (one way or the other), from their childhood years to their early adulthood to get involved and or marry someone of similar background.

There are several reasons for this. However, we will consider two. They include; family history and interest accomplishment

a.      Family history: Especially in third world nations, this issue is unequivocally very essential particularly for women who intend involving themselves in relationships or getting married. Women generally prefer to get married to or involve themselves in serious relationships with men whose family histories are remarkable. Health records in the form of hereditary prevalence become imperative. Conditions such as Diabetes, Asthma, Madness, Sickle cell diseases, Kleptomania, Attention Deficient Disorder and other psych-socio ailments are certain investigations a lot of ladies want to know before making definite decisions. Also, the knowledge of their spouses' present health is what they look out for (for instance, test for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases).

Moreover, spirituality and other beyond-the-physical devotions the families of their spouses are engaged in are another concern to them. In addition, some ladies go the length of thoroughly finding out the kind of marriage the families (members) are in, particularly the men, and how well they get to stay married.

b.     Parental relationship: Mr. and Mrs. Martin Skate are family friends with Mr. and Mrs. O' Brien for three decades. The former has three children; two daughters and a so while the latter has just a child; a daughter. Interestingly, they are all grown ups.

What's fascinating is that McLaren, the only son of Mar and Mrs. Skate, got married to Stacey, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. O' Brien, courtesy of the relationship existing both parents Mrs. Skate and Mrs. O' Brien ingenuinely orchestrated the fellowship between Stacey and McLaren right form their high school days to the day McLaren called bachelorhood quits.

Sometimes, women are married or in serious relationships with men based on this revelation. Many parents see this platform to properly `cement' their existing relationships.

c.      Interest accomplishment: Strange, it seems but very true it is; the reason behind `my kind of man' philosophy to some women. Rampant amongst ambitious women with humble background status, this is seen everywhere in the world. We hear on the radio, watch the Television, hear the News or read the Dailies of how ladies or what some people generally term `opportunists' have their way in the hearts of captains of industries, accomplish their aspirations and leave their eventual spouses to fate.

2.     Educational background: Select at random twenty ladies and present them with a questionnaire that reads `what qualities make man fit you?' Do not be surprised when you hear at least two-third of them say something like `he must be educated; at least a B.Sc degree and a working-class literate'.

Indeed, this is an en vogue statement in the utterances of many women. Some reason that they cannot imagine themselves being a relationship or getting married to someone who is not up to their standards; education-wise. Others argue that if their spouses are not as educated as they are, the financial endowment and a profiting occupation are prerequisites for a life-long union to begin (proper).

3.     Tribal/Racial background: A considerable number of women prefer their kind of men to be either be of the same tribe or race with them. For example, a typical Jewish lady would prefer being in a serious relationship with or getting married to a Jewish man. Also, a Punjab lady would want to be in a serious relationship with or get married to Punjab young man rather than settle with a `stranger' (foreigner).

On second thought, does background really matter or cats as criterion for ladies as to knowing their kind of men? The answer to this question is reflected in your answer you give to the question `in all sincerity, have educational, family and tribal/racial background really brought you the craved-for fulfillment, happiness, peace and comfort in the union with your spouse'?

On the other hand, an ever-chaste born again sister , though familiar with criterion; background to knowing one's kind of man works in the light that is consonance with the biblical recognition; therefore, there is neither male, female, Jew nor Greek…' and sees everyone as equals. Simply put, she knows and demonstrates this: true love transcends the recognition of the various background forms (with God on her side)

Chapter Four

Appearance and Intellect

It is said: `the way you are dressed will determine how you'd be addressed'. More often than not, most decent girls will not `condescend' to the point of giving audience to suitors whose appearance looks shaggy or are seen as `unpresentable' to them. Instead, they are at home to guys whose looks are decent, going by their judgment.

To demonstrate the essentiality of this quality, I would like to ask you a question: `what would be your reaction when a shabby-looking young man in a subtle manner and voice boldly proposes a relationship, marriage or even asks you to go on a date with'?

Intellect

Haven't you heard women, particularly celebrities, when asked what attracted them to their spouses, say; `I married because of his intellectual prowess', `I'm in a relationship with him because he's got some intelligence', `I'm in love with him because he's intelligent' and so on?

A typical 21st-century woman cannot imagine being a situation with a man whom she calls her spouse that can hardly write a sentence or spell a word! Some would say something like `how I can marry a man who can't spell his name? That's a burden and a snare to the abyss of marital discomfort'.

On the contrary, an ever-chaste born again Christian sister practically knows that in abiding wholeheartedly to God's instructions as written in the Holy bible, appearance is no key priority because it is temporal but being able to truly understand what the suitor has within as expressed in intentions and workability of purpose is vital because looks are deceptive. Moreover, she has built herself on the threshold that all wisdom and every form of intelligence come from God and the wisdom of men is foolishness to God. Ladies, remember this: good husbands come in unattractive packages.

Chapter Five

Character

Every woman's dream is to be in a relationship with or get married to a man whose character is good and worth recognizing. Women want men whose attitudes can make them successfully attain fulfillment in their chosen endeavours. Although it's every woman's dream but only a handful of women realize it. Why?

It takes two to tango; meaning, if a woman wants (good) behavioural patterns in her man, then she ought to possess that quality. Alas, many women are oblivious of this `two-must-agree' arrangement. The few ladies that get to engage in relationships with or marry men of good character are those whose comprehension is a reflection of the principle; character, a building factor, is best appreciated in a relationship and marriage when values of both parties are really compatible. In other words, a good character of a man should be in consonance with a good character coming from his spouse or at least, the good behavoural disposition of man should suppress the not-good behaviours of his spouse.

Generally, women, if asked their kind of men, would enlist a whole lot of accommodating qualities; care, affection, patience, tolerance attention gentleness and so on. However, if put to test to ascertain whether or not they possess these virtues to attract their kind of men, it is certain the result will be minority. Simply, just a few women are bonafide to deserve their anticipations.

An ever-chaste born again sister is one of the selected few ladies that get to engage in serious relationship with or marry her kind of man because she practically had imbibed and continually demonstrate in all ramifications the bible's descriptions of a virtuous woman.