TALKING THOUGHTS
Mr. Ben - Chimezie Benedict Ihekuna – is a philosopher of sorts, playing with the words we bandy around in speech, dabbling in the peculiarity of the messages passed across in the form of ‘talking’, and TALKING THOUGHTS is simply thoughts that are talking! Or rather it isn’t just that at all. It’s a combination of poetry, inspiration, and stories touching on gender interests, politics, relationships, general knowledge, philosophy, and science. Above all else, it’s about communication between human beings and the opportunity it brings for playfulness in the passing over of information on feelings and emotions – on our realities – and it’s about how vital the quality of that communication really is.
Discouragement; A Part Of Success
Cynthia said: “I attempted the job interview three times. The outcome each time has been unsuccessful! I’m fed up! I’m no longer interested in the interview. No one can tell me Jack about it!”
Daniel (twenty-two-year-old upcoming R and B act) said: “I’ve been seeking a record label for the past two years. My efforts have been abortive! I wasted too much time and energy. Yet, nothing to show for it! I’m tired of this. I’d quit if…”
At some point in our lives, be it individual, social or corporate, the word discouragement would have, to say the least, featured prominently. “It’s human to be discouraged,” some would say. Come to think of it, can we really say discouragement is tantamount to failure or results in giving up?
Quoting what was (in the previous paragraph) said, “It’s human to be discouraged”, it’s factual to say that discouragement is the parent to the (twin) pair of failure and quitting. Therefore, it is expected or said to be normal for humans to fail and at what they do and quit with what they’re doing because of discouragement.
However, those who are, going by the general perception of people those who notion agree with ‘normalcy’, said to be ‘rather unusual, or better yet, extra-ordinary, see the identity from an entirely different angle. “Hello! What do you mean?” Some would be(likely) asking this!
So, let’s take a thorough look at the word discouragement. It can be seen that it has these elements: prefix, main word and suffix.
The prefix, which is the word that comes before the main or actual word, is dis and ment is the suffix—the word that comes after the main or actual word. The main or actual word is obviously courage.
Unusual people become who they are because they’ve taken beyond the threshold of common perception of human reaction to unfavourable situations discouragement. How?
They pay rapt attention to this:
The prefix, ‘dis’, when pronounced, is similar to the article, ‘this’ (‘t’, ‘h’, ‘i’, ‘s’ when spelt). Forget about the difference in actual pronunciations! It has been established that the word ‘courage’ is the main word.
The suffix ‘ment’ is the same in pronunciation with the word ‘meant’, that is, ‘m’, ‘e’, ‘a’,‘n’ and ‘t’. Here is the outcome:
‘dis’ is the same as ‘this’
Courage----The main or actual word---the focus‘ment’ is ‘meant’
Articulating those in a statement, the outcome becomes:
‘[This] courage meant...’(Sounds like the word itself i.e. ‘discouragement’ whenpronounced.)
Extraordinary men and women give the statement ‘[This] courage meant...’ a different but peculiar twist. They introduce an action to accompany their pursuits, having courage as their motivating force, despite what they go through. What’s that action? The action word isan ‘is’. But for those who had given their second thought as to why the common notion about discouragement, the word is a ‘was’. Put this way; This courage IS meant to... and This courage WAS meant to...
Going by Cynthia’s statements, the unusual person would rather react to this (like): “Cynthia, do you know that ‘this courage was meant to’ give you a lead in job consultancy...only if you chose not to give up?”
Reacting to Daniel's situation, the man or indeed any man would say something like this: “Don’t you know that ‘this courage is meant to keep you updated on the current happenings in the industry to make you properly grounded for what is to come?”
In closing, discouragement could be seen as the reaction that presents itself as wrapped package but when unwrapped, brings forth the unclad courage that overcomes the challenges posed by failure and quitting to attain a showcase success.
In short, discouragement is a part of success.
True Friendship
A man”, the saying goes, “is judged by the company he keeps”. It doesn’t just end there...”Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are”. It is even said that the posterity of an individual is determined by the books he or she reads and the company he or she keeps!
People become friends for many reasons. At times, situations cause people to become...the friends they are. Some are friends because of what they stand to get---money, sexual gratification, popularity, influence and other favours. Others seek companionship and other rather immaterial yearnings like marriage. However, these foundations are said to be wobbled due to the cynical approach people come with---be it in a relationship between or and among the same and opposite sex. Lack of longevity is a first-hand evidence to this!
Here comes the question... ‘What is true friendship?’ Consider a completed residential building. When you look at the exterior view, you’ll see the basic identities—the roof top, window area(s), entrance and exit door-ways and the walls. Of course, the interior would contain the furniture, a possible air-conditioner, at least, or equivalent, electronic gadgets,a rug and/or carpet, beds and so on.
Similarly, true friendship should contain all elements responsible for its completeness. Without a doubt, it is a fact that relationships or the friendship existing between or among individuals----same and or opposite sex - for cynical ends are not complete. They lack certain elements. Hence, the reason they hardly get fulfilled in their relationships.
Notice True friendship is a foundation laid which is built by the elements of Reliability,
Intimacy, Encouragement, ‘Notice-ability,’ Devotion/Dedication, Support, Happiness,Information and their profundity productivity. In other words, True
Friendship=Foundation=Reliability+Intimacy+Encouragement+ ‘Noticeability’+Devotion/Dedication+Support+Happiness+Information+Productivity(the appreciation of Reliability, Intimacy, Encouragement, ‘Notice-ability’, Dedication/Devotion, Support, Happiness and Information).
Come to think of it, the only true foundation of a building is laid on a solid ground, not sand!If it was laid on a sandy foundation, it would be obvious what happen to it when the seasons of heavy drought winter and rain set in. The reverse would be the case of it, founded on a solid ground. These instances are akin to what happen to people who are in friendship with the others for ulterior purposes and those who are there for the benefit of others (particularly those they are friends with).
As someone who desires a true friendship and is ready to play your part, won’t you like your friend to be reliable, to establish a level of intimacy with him or her in order to give room for trust? Won’t you like him or her to give you some form of encouragement when you need it the most? It won’t be a wrong idea to show the world he or she is your friend, right? Won’t you want to identify with ‘Notice-ability’ with him or her as you get along in your friendship? After all, can a building on a hilltop be hidden from public glare? You’d like him or her to show commitment to your interest(s),right? Won’t you like him or her to proffer support in your endeavor (s), when/where necessary? You’d like to see him or her bring you happiness? Wouldn’t you? You’d like him or her give you information relating to certain areas of your concern easily and accurately rather than taking the pains to source for the same thing. Correct? Above all, won’t you appreciate the ‘presence’ of those elements in your life and that of your friend(s)?
“It takes two to tango”, the saying goes. True friendship is attained when the parties involved choose to deliberately be there for each other-
--showcasing the virtues (elements) and never relenting.
Since no sane person would like to reside in an uncompleted building, it’s not out of place of say: “No man or woman who desires fulfilment would be friends with one who has ulterior motives”. So, truly build on your friendship! It’s the only way to a rewarding relationship!
Who Is Man? The Perspectives
Years ago, when I was in secondary school, Junior secondary one to be precise, a senior, then in his second level of his senior secondary year, approached me on the way leading to my classroom after a short break.
“Hello Ben...How are you doing?” he asked, smiling with intent. “I’m great, Senior Charles” I answered, looking bit weary “Would like to ask you a question...”
“What’s It, Senior Charles?” I asked, wanting to know what it would be.
“Who is Man?”
I thought it was a question, since it was something I got to hear most times.
“A man is someone...”I replied, searching for the right words to fit in. Senior Charles kept a pretentious frowny look but I knew he’d soon burst into laughter.
“Sorry...” I continued, feeling embarrassed. “A man is someone who is like my dad.”
“Hmm...Ha Ha Ha Ha...wow! What a definition! You’ve made my day by making me burst out laughter! You know what? I’ll let you be...go to your classroom. You’ll understand what I asked you better by and by”
Senior Charles left me laughing out his brains! I chuckled as I went into the classroom to prepare for the rest of the teaching periods.
This is a fascinating subject which has caught the attention of every Tom, Dick and Harry connected to all levels of society, regardless of colour, conviction and other differences.
My understanding of the subject soon assumed another orientation when I came face to face with the conscious of self (of course, thanks to inspiration!). It was during the state of deeplymeditating on the word ‘man’ that a statement came...
“A man is truly a transcendent identity---stretching beyond the bounds of gender polarity--- yet, exhibiting the energies of masculinity and feminine characteristics in situations of interest to bring about harmony with the natural forces---wind, earth, water and fire and withself.”
Having pondered on the thought, I was ‘moved’ to ‘create’ the acrostic to the words ‘man’and ‘woman’ to throw more lights on it. The word MAN was interpreted as:
M-Males’A-Acted N-Names
And WOMAN was construed as:W-Worth O-Of
M-Males’
A-Acted N-Names
The ‘appropriations’ of the gender or worth---sexuality, creativity, leadership, affection, diligence, intelligence, etc. are what gives us the generality of ‘who is man’ , responsible for the world society and have influenced the forces of nature.
From these, I realize the perspectives to the subject matter are: The material, religious or spiritual and consciousness of self.
When I look back at the encounter with Senior Charles, I’ve now come to appreciate what hesaid “...You’ll understand what I asked you better by and by.”
Though I’m still a student on this topic, I now know better. Thanks to Senior Charles