At The L.O.T Apartment

 

The acrostic stands for Ladies of Trinity. It’s an apartment housing the trio of Sylvia, Anita and Esther. Sylvia is an out-spoken, trending, ostentatious, brown-skinned plump-sized young lady. Gainfully employed, she is modern and intelligently gives in what is fashionable. Anita, a slim-looking, light skinned and simple-looking young woman, has the character of sitting on the fence—takes sides with the one with the guts----whether right or wrong. Esther is a dark-skinned lady, peers with Anita and Esther. Her typical Christian-looking outfit depicts her as being ‘holy’ but her intelligence, when it comes to the things of world and word of God, can’t be underestimated by Anita and Esther.

 

They are coming home from the same place of work, all excited. Sylvia is heard singing: ‘’who run the world? Girls! Girls!’’ repeatedly. Anita nods her head to what Sylvia is singing about, while Esther shows indifference. Esther, holding the key to the L.O.T apartment, opens the door. Sylvia is still in the mood of singing while Anita takes her seat in the Living Room, yarning. Esther also takes her seat and keeps looking sternly at Sylvia, who is still at the door singing.

 

Anita covertly stops Sylvia’s singing show.

 

Anita

How was work today?

 

Esther

Learn how to use your mouth to cover your mouth!

 

Anita

Since when did you become a hygiene teacher?!

 

Esther

Simple. It’s just simple courtesy.

When you yarn and there’s someone next to you, you simply cover your mouth.

 

Anita

Esther, when you fart learn how to cover that area!

I know you too well for that.

You do this a lot like there’s no tomorrow.

 

 

Esther

I never knew you keep records like this.

This is very funny of you, Anita.

 

Anita

I personally never knew you have regard for ‘interactive hygiene.’

 

Sylvia

Decorum!!!

Calmness suddenly returns.

 

Sylvia

Why the tantrums?

 

Anita

You knew I yarned and Esther started her health lecture

 

Esther

As if it’s a wrong thing

 

Anita

It’s not wrong when you fart in our presence.

 

Esther

You’d have corrected me.

 

Anita

Correct a grown girl like you what to do when the fart is about being discharged…

 

Esther

You’re sooo funny! I corrected, you but you found the time to pick out my flaw.

 

Anita

Correct your flaw yourself, since you’ve realized it!

 

Esther

Don’t have your time….

 

Sylvia

Ladies, stop trading words with each other.

We’re not here to point at our wrongdoings.

We’re here to celebrate the good life.

 

Anita

You’ve raised a strong point.

I concur! Was excited at work today.

Only to have my sweet moment turned bitter by Esther!

 

Esther

You’re starting what you can’t finish.

Anita, watch your tongue!

 

Sylvia

Okay Ladies. Let’s not spoil our happy day with some transient stuff.

 

Esther

Only if Anita behaves herself…

 

Anita

How? You’re lucky I’m in a good mood today. But learn to watch what you say.

 

Esther

No comment.

 

Anita

There’d better be no comment.

 

Esther

Sylvia, continue from where you stopped.

 

Sylvia

Thank God Almighty. So you ladies can keep quiet for once!

 

Esther

Continue.

 

Anita

Go on. I’m listening.

 

Sylvia

Today, I was given a huge sum of money for a transaction I did for one of my clients at the Mechanical Section.

At first, I thought it would be given to us to share equally.

I wasn’t the only one involved in the transaction.

But it turned out that the client specifically gave me the money!

 

Anita

How much?

 

Sylvia

How is it your business?

 

Anita

Okay, you’re hiding a lot from me, your flat mate.

 

Sylvia

Don’t let me pounce on you!

Anita, get yours and if you like, don’t gist me and if you chose, gist me.

I’m living my life!

 

Esther

This is a Christian who ought to live the life of Christ.

Yet, she is no different from the Uptown Girl.

 

Sylvia

Look at pot calling kettle black.

It’s just that it won’t make sense unearthing your can of worms.

 

Esther

Old things of have pass away. Behold, all have become new.

The bible tells me.

 

Sylvia

So, you’re quick to run the bible, right?

Now, let me use it for you: wisdom is profitable to direct.

 

Anita

Sylvia, do you know Esther was right? Try to live the Christian life.


Sylvia

Anita! Oh Anita! What’s come over you?!

You’re neither hot nor cold!

Whose side are you?!

 

Anita

The head the cap fits.

 

Sylvia

It’s your nature, anyway! I won’t blame you…

I blame myself!

So disappointed in you!

 

Esther

Sylvia, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

I suggest you go for a serious deliverance!

 

Anita

Do you know Esther has your interest at heart?

Go for a divine deliverance!

 

Sylvia

You ladies have gone bunkers!

Don’t you realize every day in a woman’s life needs deliverance?

From her ‘good’ morning to the time of ‘good night’ when she retires to bed, she ought to pray for deliverance.

 

Esther

You’re right.

Especially when that woman puts on a synthetic hair on her natural hair to remain relevant.

Especially when a woman chose to be carnal while pretending to act church all the time.

 

Anita

Sylvia, learn not to throw caution to the wind.

 

Esther and Anita are on their feet to confront Sylvia. They stare at her-eyeball to eyeball. Sylvia looks at them, smiling with intent.

 

Esther

She’s trending, Anita.

Can’t you see it run through her veins?

 

Anita

Yes.

And like the counterfeit form of the spirit it’s hovering all around her body.

 

 

 

Esther

She has failed to realize that the beauty of a woman is in her hair.

 

Sylvia

Are y’all done?

 

Esther

Not yet.

 

Sylvia

Continue. I’m hearing you.

 

Anita

You’re funny, Sylvia.

 

Sylvia

I heard that.

 

Esther

Do you realize that there comes a point in life where you have to return back to life what

you’ve taken away from it?

 

Sylvia

How does that question relate to what you think is being talked about?

 

Esther

You’re articulate enough to comprehend.

Figure it out, girl.

 

Anita

Yes, figure it out, trending woman.

 

 

Sylvia

Esther, you know what?

           

Esther

Of course, water?

 

Anita

Including earth, fire and wind.

 

Sylvia

You’re no match to me!

 

Esther

Your size says it all…But you know what transpired between David and Goliath?

 

Sylvia

My Book of Bible Stories. Tell me more!

 

Anita

Yes, it’s in the book of bible stories!

 

Esther

Have you gone nuts?

 

Anita

In Jesus’ name, my nuts are still intact. They weren’t lost! They weren’t found missing! Maybe check yours.

 

Sylvia leaves their presence. She takes her seat several steps away from them to continue her laughing. It’s obvious she’s laughing at their stupidity.

 

Esther

Learn to always stand for the right and stay away from the wrong!

 

Anita

Learn to realize everything, including you, is so wrong that what’s left isn’t just right!

 

Esther

You’re confusion personified.

 

Anita

The world is utterly confused.

Tell yourself what you just told me.

In fact, the same be unto you.

 

Esther

Why are you so confused at the world?

 

Anita

The Bible tells me that you should remove the dirt from your eyes first before thinking of having mine removed!

 

Esther

I think you both need corporate deliverance!

 

Sylvia laughs more.

 

Sylvia

Has deliverance become a business enterprise?

Where is the money?

If it has, I promise, I will go for that CORPORATE DELIVERANCE….

Ha Ha Ha…

 

Esther

Ladies, two days from now, Saturday, to be precise, we’ll be having a meeting at James’ place.

If you like, come along with your behaviors.

I’ve passed across my message.

Let he who has ears; let him hear and he who has eyes; let him see what the spirit is saying.

 

Sylvia

Indeed, Esther is the spirit in the dark body!

 

Anita

Till then…just two days from now.

 

Esther

I’m about to see a friend.

He’s residing three streets away from ours.

I’ll be back soon.

Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events and great minds discuss ideas.

 

Sylvia

I’m that great mind, Esther.

What do you think?

 

Esther

That’s for you to answer!

 

Anita

Well, all of the above!

 

Esther

Serves your confused memory right!

 

Anita

I guess you’re…

 

Esther

You who I am.

 

Anita

Tell us

 

Sylvia

Do you make a certainty out of a ‘perhaps’ situation?

Tell us, Esther, who are you?

 

Esther

Don’t have your time.

 

Sylvia

Thank you

 

Anita

The pleasure is all mine!

 

Esther leaves the house unhappy. Sylvia gives her space for her to move out, since she’s standing at the side of the door.

 

Anita

Let me take my rest. But before I do, let me see Antonia. I need to get something from her.

 

Sylvia

Okay. I’m right here.

 

Sylvia goes to her room to take out an article, a friend of hers, Cynthia, gave to her, about a month ago. She looks forward to a time where she’d be less busy and the duo of Anita and Esther will be absent to read the rated-18 The Experience Known as Sex Article, written by Mr. Ben. She moves to the Living Room, relaxes comfortably as she looks at the 19-page article.

 

 

 

 

Sylvia (Talking to herself)

Yes, this’ an ample opportunity to read what Cynthia has been telling me about. I hope it be that interesting and educative. But it appears it is. The title is catchy enough.

Well, let me taste the pudding first. Have to read it before the intruding ladies set their feet here.

Buy the truth and sell it not. That’s the trend! For me, not only will this article remain in my possession, I will not allow Esther or Anita have access to it at all! Before time flies, before they come, let me begin the reading. It’s Me reading to Myself and I, getting to understand it. Let me see what makes this article special.

 

Sylvia begins the reading The Experience Known as Sex

 

NOTE:  If you’re less than 18 years of age, don’t read this!

 

Sylvia (reacts)

Hmmm…The reason I have to read through

The experiences (s) of sex has or have undoubtedly led various peoples of the world to adopt different sex likes ranging from the normal (simple) to the unusual life of sex disposition. Perhaps, the seemingly unlimited bounds of civilization have lured individuals (especially youths) into believing that everyone has a right to enjoy sexual freedom, neglecting the conspicuous aftermaths that follow. Indeed, the different sex lives of individuals especially before marriage; ‘the particular time’) have created discrepancies in rightly asserting their personalities.

It brings to the spotlight a classic computation (arithmetic calculation) on the number of times a people have had sex before marriage. This can only be numerically fathomable provided their sincerity (in terms of record keeping) is pronounced. Awkward, isn’t it? Based on the computation reached, it asserts the various sex lives (by description of label) of different individuals (using a particular individual, A, say, as case study which is a model for others irrespective of gender), extrapolates their future from the present, all other things being equal, before and even after marriage. Interestingly, it conveys didactic remarks on how they can practically appropriate sex. These are to be detailed later. Meanwhile, we are cruising back to base_ the tango dance. In this case, the experience is gained either by the man or woman or both during the dance after which the parties involved may wish to stick to each other or part ways to gain more experience from other tango dance partners. If both parties are satisfied with the other’s tango dance steps, they will remain the very seemingly inseparable tango partners. If it is the other way round, that is, if the man or woman is practically an Oliver twist, there is vividly the likelihood of both parties parting ways to explore different tango dance step of others in the particular club house, all in the name of having various experiences needed. After all, variety is the spice of life!

In the same vein, this is partly what the sex lives of individuals become. This brings us to two particular issues: the definitions of what individuals arguably see sex as, which eventually ascertain their lifestyles. Basically, they are the So

Exciting Xperience or

S- So

E-Exciting

X-Xperience and Simply Exciting Experience or

S-Simply

E-Exciting

X-Xperience

 

What is the practical distinction between the two defined terms? The distinction practically pinpoints at the various sex lives of individuals. The defined So Exciting Xperience practically zeros on the sex lives of individual who have exceeded their bounds of having sex, that is, exercising sexual freedom with different partners, though they arguably tend to exercise caution, they are let loose by what sex tunes them. Seldom, they say experience is the best teacher. In the quest for this ‘truth,’ they adventure from one partner to the other, toting to multiple sex partners. In analogy, they are Oliver Twist-like in nature; the ones that would not be satisfied with the tango dance steps of the other parties. They argue that sex is an important tool to depict immense love (especially the women) and a way to depict the qualities of manhood (the male folks).

Unfortunately, these are not all there is.

On the other hand, the defined Simply Exciting Xperience practically pinpoints at the sex lives of individuals who (in a way) uphold the virtue of being faithful to their respectively partners, irrespective of what happens. However, this does not guarantee absolute safety because the risks the Oliver twist – like individual are exposed to are the same to this category of individuals as there are doubts of their respective partners’ fidelity, probably based on past relationships and other commitments. In fact, individuals whose sex lives practically reflect on the So Exciting Xperience inclination would with panache bring to recognition the ‘equality of sexual freedom.’ Their stance is as there is sincerely no trust in the partners they deal with, it is encouraging for them to balance the equation by being more experienced, gallivanting (in the name of exuberance) from one partner to the other even as their partners do the same. Obviously, that is their thought pattern. Nonetheless, the faithful ones are comparatively less likely to risk themselves to certain health and physical hazards because there is an existing mutual confidence between them and their partners. This is what the sex adventurers are practically deficient of.

If you are married and reading this, I would like to ask you (a rather) awkward question: ‘Before marriage, how many times have you had sex? Do not trivialize this as it would be  very necessary. Probably, you are looking with disdain! It is understandable. As a matter of fact; if use this question to X-ray different people on the streets, living in a district or community, you will be amazed at the various responses you would get. Some will give a questionable numerical figure (taking the question with levity), others will not answer you, believing that you want to infringe on their privacy. Funny enough, other individuals would say something like, ‘I will tell you later,’ while others will respond by unleashing life-threatening words and actions on you. However, if sex is an experience, should it be an off-the-record account, worth remembering and documenting, kept as secret for a time but (think about this question: is anything hidden under the sun?) or something to remembered when you are in the grave!?

If it is an off-the-record account, then why waste your time on a task you will not commend yourself of doing? After all, anything worth doing is worth doing well.

If it is worth remembering and documenting, then you should be congratulated!

This is because you are about exercising empirical knowledge to others (interested), letting them (the wise ones) learn what are ordinarily vague when taught and possibly help improve the sex life of others before and after the particular time (marriage).

If you are advocating that it should be kept secret for a time, think of the question asked. Do you know that the wall has ears? One way or the other, the other party you had it with will unravel to his or her world what really happened. In time, this could be implicating.

If you are that individual who sees the experience, sex, as something to be remembered when you are in the grave, what an exclamation it is. Remember, it is just one life you and I have to live.

If you portray this disposition, it means that you are in a state of guilt. Imagine you carrying this burden of guilt all your life. How miserable you would be! No one can share it with?

Then, you are out of this world! Frankly, you are in a world of your own.

How can an individual best know the actual number of times he or she had had sex before marriage? The answer is quite simple, though very trivial. It is best answered when you have a record of the number of partners you have ‘engaged’ yourself with. More precisely, keeping a record of how many times partner A for instance had engaged you or the number of times partners (A, B, C, D,E…Z) have engaged you. Do not joke or feel insulted about what is being said we are arriving at something. If you are dazzled at what you are reading, here are some statistics that keep you glued to the edge.

The Italian footballer, name withheld, who currently plays professional football, claims that he had slept with over 600 women. Let us assume that he had slept with 300 women before he got married and similarly engaged a woman twice, definitely, by simple arithmetic, he must have had sex at an exact numeric figure of 600!

Another instance is the case of a well-known adult star (name withheld). According to him, he had slept with over 3000 women. Let us say he slept with 1,500 women before he got married and as usual, engaged a woman twice. It follows that the numeric figure of 3000 gives the number of times he had had sex.

Though most celebs keep records of their sex escapades, they acquire the experiences via the previous relationships they engage themselves in various one-night-stand gatherings, for-the-moment situations or professional video coverage (pornography). Take a cue from this. I mean, keep records of your sex adventure it will help you once way or the other, if not now, definitely in the future to define your sexual disposition. If you are convinced, let us see the zenith of this issue!

For the individual, A, the number of times he (or she) had sex is partly dependent on the number of relationships engaged in, taking to cognizance the first sex had. Below is an arithmetic computation of the number of time an individual, A, had had sex. Let us establish the following parameters. Note that the number of times individual A had engaged in sex is before the particular time: marriage. Here are the parameters used.

a. Let the first time individual, A, had sex. (with partner, a, say ) be X

b. Let the subsequent number of times individual A had had sex be X1, (with the same partner)

c. Perhaps there is an eventual break-up, let number of times individual a had engaged in sex in subsequent relationships with the partners (b, c, d, e… say,) be X2,

d. Considering the number of times individual A had had for-the moment/one-nightstand sex, with partners ( f, g, h, l….). If individual A had engaged in such, let the number of times individual A had engaged in one-night-stand/ for- the-moment sex be X3 (with partners f, g, h, l… ) (On the basis of assumption)

e. Assuming individual A ‘hooks up’ with a would-be life-long marriage material (partners Z, say) let the number of times individual A had sexually engaged partners Z be X4. This is before marriage

f. Considering the parameters, we can compute (arithmetically) the numbers of times individual A had engaged in sex before marriage. Let the numbers of times individual A engaged in sex be represented